Why is your site called Toaster Tongs???

Read the back story in our very first comic ever.

Can I submit work to your site?

Why sure! Take a look at our style guide and send us some toast!

Is your site for kids or for adults?

When we were children, we always felt the world was talking down to us. And now that we’re adults, we always feel that people are too serious. So this site is for kids and adults and tries to have fun being both and neither.

What is a squirble?

Squirbles are A+ rodents! They love seltzer and gummy bears! Read our first children’s book to learn more!

What is “Percy & Pip’s Treasure Chest?”

We are donating 1% of profits from our products to support America’s foster children. Learn more here!

What is a snort?

A snort is a very obnoxious person! The term is derived from the language of 8-year-old prodigies in upstate New York circa 1988.